Nobody goes into a marriage wanting a divorce. When a person marries that special someone, the hope is that each person has found their soul mate. In some relationships though, that is not always the case. In 2020 39% of marriages are ending in divorce. This happens for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons include lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse (physical and mental).
This often leads to people seeking out legal resources to begin the divorce process. A lot of people give the reason for no longer being in love as a prime reason for divorce. Over time, the degree of love in a relationship changes, and in some cases people may feel that they have “fallen out of love.” If marriage counseling doesn’t help when this happens, then it’s best to consider separation for the sake of both parties.
Going through the process of divorce can be taxing, and a bit stressful. A person finds that they might have even lost a bit of confidence during the divorce. Once this process is over, and a person has accepted this new stage of their life, things will get better. To get to this point where confidence has been rebuilt, here are a few steps.
1. Begin listing your positive traits and accomplishments.
Treating oneself as a decent human being is an essential quality for leading a healthy and productive life. After divorce, this becomes somewhat difficult. An air of negativity can cloud a person’s thinking, making them doubt that they are a good person. Once the divorce process is done, a bit of rebuilding is needed.
To start this rebuilding a person should try listing what is positive about themselves, in addition to highlighting what they have accomplished over the years. An individual can begin this process by focusing on the positive which they bought to the relationship. The need to rebuild the “positive frequency” in a person’s life is needed here. Once this positive frequency is rebuilt with bringing up past accomplishments, and positive traits, the confidence begins to be rebuilt.
2. Consider getting a makeover.
One of the biggest hits that a person experience during a divorce is their confidence. Unless the divorce is amicable, and you leave a person on decent terms, a lot of hurtful things probably have been said by each party, including how a person looks. Some of these words might have been said out of spite to tear a person down.
In addition to this, a person might see their unattractiveness as being a reason why the relationship is ending. Whatever the reason, confidence about one’s physical appearance takes a big hit when divorce occurs. A way to tackle this is by getting a physical makeover.
Maybe this means doing physical activities like hitting the gym, walking around the neighborhood to get fit. A person might do things that are a bit more cosmetic, and on the surface. Buy a new wardrobe. Buy a set of faux mink lashes for a night out on the town. Get a nice-looking haircut. Treat oneself to a pedicure. Makeovers go a long way with raising a person’s confidence.
3. Document your journey.
Keeping a journal often helps with detangling a person’s thoughts and feelings. After going through a divorce, a journal is definitely needed, as a person finds that their minds are cluttered with everything this process brings. One way to not get lost in all of this mental debris is to write your own story. This allows a person an opportunity to get their thoughts out, in the hopes of making sense of it all.
This will allow a person to pinpoint what works and what doesn’t work for them in their goal of becoming a better person. A more confident person. When a person tells their own story, they can then focus on the good of their existence, versus what they perceive as just being wrong.
4. Look forward to the person you want to be.
The divorce has happened, a person is by themselves, and now they have to keep on living. Divorce is not the end of a person’s life. Though it might feel that way at this point, this is not the case.
Divorce doesn’t bring out the best in people, and while its happening things feel stagnant for the individuals involved. Once the process of divorce is over, then a person should begin looking forward to who they want to be. Future growth is essential so that a person can have the best life experience possible post-divorce.
5. Build a support system.
Friends can be extremely helpful in building one’s confidence. When a divorce occurs, it helps to have such a support system. Whether it’s a friend calling with a dumb joke or another friend who is just calling to check in, having a solid support system can help with rebuilding a person’s self-confidence.
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